Goodnight Jason. I hope you’ve found the peace you needed and struggled to find in life. We never met but I felt I knew you, as so many of your fans probably did. It’s hard not to empathise with such honest lyricism.
I know where I was and what I was doing when I first heard your voice. I still remember the first time I listened to Didn’t It Rain all the way through on headphones. Everytime I pick up a guitar I play those damn chords. D F C G. Honestly: Every. Single. Time.
Ach, Jason why did you have to leave. I know it’s hard. Sometimes it’s too hard.
Ten years of comfort you gave me, it feels like a lifetime now; and I know you’ll give me comfort for another ten years but those songs will be harder now. That frail haunting voice of yours, that seems to fit perfectly with the honest confessional lyrics, will be an anchor now… dragging us under the waves to drown with you.
This wasn’t some kind of juvenile hero worship. I feel like it was a relationship built on respect and that’s what makes this so hard. We all knew there was a price to pay for those words; Christ… there had to be when they were laced with so much pain. But I didn’t want this, none of us did.
Anyway, I don’t know what to say now. The songs will be there forever, far too many to list. Stories which were told with a startling honesty; seen through eyes that always looked a little sad. I don’t know what you were going through in terms of the alcoholism, but it sounded like you knew what I was going through some days. That mattered.
And now I’m here typing away, trying to explain how I feel about someone I never met passing away. It feels a bit stupid, but that’s what happens when you lay your life out for people to connect with. It’s not fair to ask us not to care.
I watched a video of you last night making Josephine. You looked comfortable there, despite just losing a friend and colleague. The whole band seemed to fit. Maybe that’s the way it’s been edited, I don’t know. Were you really that sick then too? What about in Glasgow when we saw you play? Could someone have reached out then?
It’s selfish. You’re gone now and nothing will change that. If it hurts for the fans I can only imagine how much it hurts for your family and friends. I hope they can take comfort in the music you left, and the effect it had on people across the world.
Thanks for the songs Jason; those beautiful songs.
Jason Molina (1973-2013).